I know it's a bad timing, but even without the recession, I would still have hesitated on whether to stay or just go back. I don't really seem confident and optimistic at all, as a Libra should be. It was my earlier decision to set March 31 as my deadline. Frankly the chances are still slim, as I always feared. Friends encouraged me as before, that I should really struggle for another one month or two so that I won't regret later. Now that it's already February, why not stay a little longer?
Will I finally go back with nothing in May? If that's the case, why not leave now? What's the difference? It's never about the wasted time I'm talking about. I'm thinking of someone. We might not be seeing each other again in the near future. But if I go back right now, things will be a little bit different. If I can stay and work, things will also be different, I guess. If things don't come the way you want, it might be a bless in disguise. I still believe in this, and I can only believe in this.
Today my friend told me that her ex took his fiancee to exactly the same places on a trip. Coincidentally, I just heard some mid-aged male artist saying that men would take his lover to the same place, thinking of their ex's, but women would never want to be wherever they had memories with their ex's. He concluded that women were more cruel than men, because women wanted to completely forget the past. Interestingly, women always have their arguments on this. They said they were just weaker and wanted to keep the memory solely for the ex's, so that they would avoid the similar scenes. I once read that one city could only accommodate one love. Unsurprisingly, it was said by a woman writer. But after all, things might not be so absolute as for men and women. IT REALLY DEPENDS. Just like a common question, will you remain friends with your ex's?
Absolutely not, according to me years ago. But now, I hesitate to say that, since it really depends. There is no reason to detach someone just because you loved him, and there is no reason to keep contact with someone just because you loved him. However that's not what I'm thinking at all. I am still complaining about my hesitating about those important and serious in life.
But the fact is I don't really need to hesitate. Just keep going, and there's a way out. And some day you will finally see each other again, and that shouldn't be too far away.
